The Offseason

T-Shirts Available

Get them before they're gone. If you haven't gotten your FV3 Memorial Day Triathlon t-shirt there are still some available.

Email Brett Greathouse at greathorse2@yahoo.com to get one today.

Race Day Surprises

Much can (and will) be said about the First Annual FV3 Memorial Day Triathlon. The coming days will include commentary from a number of contestants and possibly some individual suggestions for next year.

We'll start with the top 10 Race-Day Surprises:

10. Melissa "Win it or I Will" Blake sitting out for fear of failing the doping test
9. The disqualification of "Best Time" Beau McCraney (banned swimwear)
8. "Too Much Time" Greathouse's lack of preparation and competitive zeal
7. The much-hyped Team Kendrick's slower time than individual racers
6. Bishop Johnson's walking home from the finish line (Achilles intact)
5. Curt Huffmire's civility in letting his wife beat his time
4. President Richardson's crushing win in the 60+ age bracket
3. Kaz "Call me Nacho" Augustus in stretchy pants
2. Bob John's "manscaping": chest, arm, leg, (and back?) shave
1. And the number one surprise, everyone wants to do it again

More to come...

Results

Overall Winner:

1. Beau McCraney* (1:10:39)
1. Bob Johns (1:10:39)

Women: Juniors

1. Elizabeth Miller (1:38:00)
2. Cassie Harward (1:56:20)

Women: Open

1. Shandra Blake (1:34:37)
2. Jillyn Huffmire (1:38:59)
3. Amber Pitt (1:55:22)
4. Sharie McCraney (1:59:22)
5. Jen Hafen (1:59:22)
6. Erica Wilker (1:59:28)
7. Barbara Tarayoa (1:59:38)

Men: 30 & Under

1. Jesse Walker (1:21:46)
2. Andrew Richardson (1:21:47)
3. Jeff Farr (1:22:42)
4. Aaron Quist (1:34:56)
5. Chad Pitt (1:55:27)
6. Michael Richardson (2:00:12)
7. Mal Richardson (2:00:12)

Men: 31-40

1. Beau McCraney* (1:10:39)
2. Bob Johns (1:10:39)
3. Kaz Augustus (1:12:08)
4. Bishop Johnson (1:18:44)
5. Brett Greathouse (1:26:08)
6. Paul Hafen (1:35:58)
7. Dave Risse (1:41:07)
8. Curt Huffmire (1:44:04)

Men: 41-60

1. Roger Harvey (1:18:36)
2. Mark Holmes (1:21:12)
3. Jim Templin Sr (1:53:24)

Men: 60+

1. Bruce Richardson (2:00:11)

Teams:

1. Team Kendrick (1:12:05)
2. Team Cubete (1:22:04)
3. Team Harward (1:24:05)
4. Team Bell (2:04:05)
   

*Disqualified for inappropriate swimwear

Start Time

7:00 am - First Swim Heat
7:30 am - Second Heat

By the Numbers

We wish to emphasize that the First Annual FV3 Triathlon is participative rather than competitive. There will be place for trash talking (especially concerning Bob John's chicken knees or the Bishop's short leg) or a competitive spirit.

But we thought it might be interesting to run the numbers on the event as if it were competitive. Below are the findings:

Most Likely "Top Five" Finishers:

#5 Team Bell
#4 Team Kendrick
#3 Bob Johns
#2 Beau McCraney
#1 Kristi Monson

Most Likely Injuries:

#5 Torn Achilles (Bishop Johnson)
#4 Visit Bottom of River (Randy Kendrick)
#3 Herniated Disc (Beau McCraney)
#2 Separated Shoulder (Timmy T)
#1 Bruised Ego (Kaz Augustus)

Swimming Location

As of 4:37 on May 9, the First Annual FV3 Triathlon confirmed a swimming location: the Green Valley swimming pool off of Euclid and Slater. The venue offers an exciting array of 6 lanes filled with between 3 and 5 feet of chlorinated water - truly something for everyone!

Once again, speedos will not be tolerated (Charlie). Other prohibited clothing and accessories includes:

1. Webbed Gloves (Miss Monson)
2. Snorkels (Timmy T)
3. Spiked Footwear (Blur)
4. Fins (Dolphie)
5. Two-piece swimsuits (Huff n' Farr)

Thanks to Bishop Johnson and Timmy T for arranging with Green Valley!