Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Triathlon Awards

Due to a large number of requests that "Everyone win something", the FV3 Triathlon Awards Committee (FV3-TAC) has released the following statement...

The 2nd Annual FV3 Triathlon will include winners in the following categories:


Best Overall Time: The person with the lowest combined times of swimming, biking and running

  • Expected Male Winner: Bob "The Sandbag" Johns
  • Expected Female Winner: Mindy "Call me Bruce" Stewart or Elizabeth Miller
  • Dark Horse: Ritchie "Yes, this is a Cervelo" Blake / Jillyn "Mindy Who?" Huffmire

Best Overall Team Time: The team with the lowest combined times of swimming, biking and running
  • Expected Winner: Team Kendrick
  • Dark Horse: The Ruddies

Best Swim Time: The person with the fastest swim time

  • Expected Male Winner: Beau "The Soviet Sub" Mc Craney
  • Exected Female Winner: Shanna "Beau wishes he could swim like this" Jacobs
  • Dark Whale: Brett "Mammy loves short'nin bread" Stewart

Best Bike Time: The person with the fastest bike time
  • Expected Male Winner: Kaz "Stretchy Pants" Augustus
  • Exected Female Winner: Mindy "I run and pull the bike" Stewart
  • Dark Wheel: Ritchie "Did I mention this is a Cervelo?" Blake

Best Run Time: The person with the fastest run time
  • Expected Male Winner: Bob "Six Minute Mile" Johns
  • Exected Female Winner: Mindy "Bob who?" Stewart
  • Dark Shoe: Jesse "8 foot stride" Walker

Other "Non-Winner" awards include:


Most Improved: The person with the biggest improvement from last year
  • Expected Winner: Curt "Jillyn's going Down" Huffmire
  • Dark Horse: Bruce "I'm not waiting for my kids this time" Richardson

Most Unexpected Finisher
  • Expected Winner: John "Locke'd & Loaded" Ziebarth
  • Dark Horse: Erica "I had a baby last week" Wilker
Spirit Award: The happiest loser

  • Expected Winner: Brett "How many laps was that?" Greathouse
  • Dark Horse: Kent "I don't need to train" Howe

Best Purchase Award: The person who made the best off-season Triathlon Purchase
  • Expected Winner: Bishop "Technically, I didn't buy it" Johnson
  • Dark Horse: Michael "Beach Cruiser for my mom" Richardson

Best Coordination Award: The competitor with the best coordinated outfit.
  • Expected Winner: Jen Hafen
  • Dark Horse: Paul Hafen
  • Bonus Award: Jen & Paul Hafen for most coordinated couple.
Red Dolphie Award: The competitor with the brightest red dolphin shorts

  • Expected Winner: Bishop Johnson
  • Dark Horse: None

Congrats on Being a Man Winner: The person who wore a speedo in 2007 and didn't in 2008

  • Expected Winner: Beau Mc Craney
  • Dark Horse: None

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's Ritchie "THE CEREBRAL ASSASIN" Blake as the Dark Horse