As the wives of FV3 Triathlon participants, it is our sincere desire to eliminate doping from the First Annual FV3 Triathlon. We know of no specific cases of participants using performance enhancing drugs but we have our suspicions [emphasis added]. No wife wants to admit that her husband is a doper but we must be honest with ourselves. In this light we offer the following:
Wikipedia includes a number of both physiological and anatomical changes as “Possible Unwanted Effects of Steroid Use”. These include increased blood pressure, hardening of heart ventricles, development of unwanted bodily features, increased risk of certain cancers, premature balding, and others.
After watching our husbands over the last few weeks we wish to focus on a lesser known condition as a tell-tell sign of doping: Roid Rage.
Roid Rage can be defined as “excessive and unwarranted aggression” or “excessive response to life’s common occurrences”. Some examples include hearing the following phrases from your husband:
“I don’t care if Bubba’s only 2, I’M HUNGRY NOW!”
“I know Jake just had his tonsils out, BUT HE’S SLEEPING ON MY BED!”
Another sign is excessive brow sweat or extended looks of consternation (usually with protruded veins in neck or over the temples). For example, do you see this after asking him to pass the salt:
Lastly, watch for newly punched holes in drywall or side car windows.
We hope this is helpful, we will make additional posts as they become necessary
Triathlon Wives Club Presidency (Jillyn, Elaine, Carrie)
On a brighter note, we welcome our newest members: Shelly, Sharie, Kristen. We’ll be having a “Support your Husband” rally this Thursday night. Have your husband watch the kids and come support him at Fountain Valley Disco Skate Night.
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